How to Date a Millionaire
“Being single sucks!” declares Patti Stanger, over a glistening mound of steak tartar at a coveted table at Spago in Beverly Hills. In a few minutes, legendary chef Wolfgang Puck will emerge from the kitchen to make sure all Patti’s culinary needs are satisfied. But in the meantime, Patti is expounding on her favorite subject: matchmaking.
Patti, the owner and founder of the world-renowned “Millionaires Club”, has a matchmaking pedigree. Both her mother and her grandmother were yentas, matching up everyone in their New Jersey neighborhood for free. Patti’s grandmother found her mother’s first husband for her. And Patti even lays claim to a hereditary sixth sense—her mother had psychic powers.
“We have a scientific formula on matchmaking. My grandmother gave me a trade secret that will be handed down to generations of my family.”
The company headquarters is based in Los Angeles yet they service men and woman worldwide. Patti tells us that they get tens of thousands of beautiful woman from all over the world registering to be part of the club and in certain cities there’s a male waiting list. There are far more females than males in her roster because women join for free, while men pay from $10,000 to $20,000 per year for membership.
“We have millionaires from around the world—Mexico, Australia, England, Canada, Hong Kong, South Africa and more. Many will fly wherever they need to go to meet their ideal woman, and they’ll fly her in for dates first class if she likes,” says Patti. “But all clients, both male and female, have to meet certain criteria.”
That’s right; not just any woman with a lust for luxury or any man with a bodacious bank account is allowed to join. The number-one criterion for a female, surprisingly enough, is that she must not be a gold digger.
“My girls must never ask for anything,” Patti states emphatically. “If she starts asking for Gucci, Fendi, Prada, weekends in Aspen, Christmas in St. Bart’s, etc., she will be dropped immediately. Now if she wants to accept whatever a male client offers her, that’s another story, and the men are extremely generous. One guy bought designer diamond earrings for a girl on the second date. One of my other clients always arrives on the date with a gift—he finds out what her favorite color is, then brings her a designer bag or something else really nice in that color.”
There’s a four to one rule too. The woman must give back to their men by making them dinner, baking them cookies or cleaning their closets. Patti is very strict on this. “Life is give and take, not just take take take”… woman must show appreciation too. However “when a woman touches money in front of a man she sends a subliminal message she is the male and he turns off, it is much better to give to your man a gift the old fashion way with a big fat kiss,” says Stanger.
To even be in a position to accept designer goodies in the first place, a girl must have professional photos (not glamour shots) taken, and fill out a personal questionnaire that asks questions about careers, education, goals, past relationships, personal preferences, and more. If Patti and her reps like what they see, the woman must then undergo an interview in person with Patti or a MC recruiter. Personal interviews are essential, because they’ve come across women whose pictures haven’t matched their true faces, and who have lied about their ages.
“I can’t do much for women over 45, and if they’re overweight, it’s almost impossible,” she says. “We have anyone from nail technicians to doctors and Harvard Law grads,” says Patti. “Ideally, what they all have in common is the desire for an old-fashioned, traditional relationship where the woman has the option of staying home and raising the children while her husband goes to work.” [Note: Urbanette finds the assumption of this 50’s-style relationship to be, as Patti said, very “old-fashioned” and patriarchal. Food for thought.]
“Most of our girls have college educations and careers. They’re also beautiful and in good shape. That’s what successful men really want. A man might come to me asking for a 22-year-old hottie, but they usually end up in long–term relationships with quality women over 30, who are both intelligent and beautiful.”
Tiffany is very popular in the service. She is a 33-year-old Jennifer Garner look-a-like actress/model with a degree from Pepperdine University. “One of her best qualities is that she is open-minded. She will go out with anyone, and they all like her because she is smart, ambitious and spiritual,” says Patti. No word on whether Tiffany is okay with putting her “ambition” on hold to become a Stepford wife.
“I’ve been involved in the Millionaires Club for about four months, and I’ve had really positive experiences,” says Tiffany. “All the men have been really classy, and the dates have been really nice. They’ve taken me to the city’s best restaurants, to The Academy Awards and places like that.”
Patti won’t accept some wealthy men into her club if their expectations are unrealistic, or if their motives are not pure. “I had one celebrity who just wanted me to introduce him to submissive women under 25 with dirty blond hair and wearing parochial school girl outfits,” Patti relates. “I turned him down. He gave me the creeps.”
Patti pulls no punches, and will tell him to cut his hair, get new clothes, even get plastic surgery or have his teeth fixed, if that’s what she feels he needs.
She won’t go as far as to scrutinize a potential male member’s tax returns or bank statements, but Patti has her own ways of knowing whether or not a man is successful. She asks about his cars, his home, his vacation habits, his lifestyle, and his place of employment. “If a guy is only 25 and makes $500,000 per year, he might not be a millionaire yet but he will be when he turns 40 we will accept them as long as they are generous” Patti states. Plus the five figure annual membership fee scares most unsuccessful men away.
What does a guy get when he lays down that kind of cash? First he gets a personal consultation with Patti, who will tell him exactly what he needs to do to win the type of woman he wants. Patti pulls no punches, and will tell him to cut his hair, get new clothes, even get plastic surgery or have his teeth fixed, if that’s what she feels he needs. She’ll also refer him to a therapist, a relationship coach or a plastic surgeon, all of whom she keeps on staff as consultants. Patti’s own advanced services as an image consultant are available at a mere $1500 per day, during which time she will take the guy shopping, help him pick out cool new designer duds and take him to a salon, all the while coaching him on what works and what doesn’t. My men are very handsome and are the marrying kind but sometimes a trip to barneys can seal the deal. My clients are the wealthiest most famous men in the world and yet they still need help in the dating department just like everyone else.
When Patti feels her protégé is ready to go out and meet the ladies, he’ll have the opportunity to go on an unlimited number of dates with prescreened, gorgeous women that he has picked out from photos and profiles. “Most services only give you a certain number of dates, but my clients can have as many as they like,” says Patti. Afterward, the millionaire is allowed to give and receive unlimited feedback about the women he sees. Patti will let him know what he did right, what he did wrong, and whether or not he should contact the girl again. Patti who is affectionately known as the “Simon Cowell of dating” will be brutally honest with the client and tell it like it is.
“West Coast women are often more beautiful—-they take pride in their appearances, because that’s what’s more important out there, but they can also be jaded and nasty. They’ve been used and abused,” Patti says.
She insists that her male clients be gracious and generous, taking her girls to upscale restaurants and events, and covering all their expenses. “If I hear that a guy didn’t cover valet parking for the girl, I’ll let him know about it. After a number of infractions, he goes on the reprimand list. If he doesn’t start behaving the way he should.” He will continue to get women but not A-list women until he shapes up.
“There are a number of reasons why wealthy, successful men come to me,” says Patti. “Some are the types who are always looking for the BBD—the Bigger, Better Deal. They’re the serial daters, and I only line them up with women who are not looking for serious relationships. But I’d say about 90% of the men who come to me are looking for a monogamous relationship and want to get married. These are the normal, divorced guys who don’t like the bar scene. And of course, there are the workaholics who want to meet women outside of their industry, but don’t have the time or access to do so.”
Alan is the perfect example of the latter. He is a lawyer/film producer with offices on the Universal lot. He spends much of his free time in the gym, and is an accomplished body builder.
“I had just come out of a very debilitating relationship, and I felt I couldn’t find someone on my own,” says Alan. I looked in the back of Los Angeles magazine for dating services, called a few, and Patti had the most and best energy. I felt she would be very protective of me, and would make sure the women I date would be sincere.” I have had two serious relationships through the club and hope to be married soon to number two.”
Geography also plays an important role in people’s ability to become involved in a decent relationship. “It’s very different on the East Coast than on the West Coast,” and Patti a New Jersey native should know.
Patti asserts that in New York, there are five single women to every one single man, but in the Los Angeles area, there are five single men to every one single woman—-but many aren’t straight, and many have a Peter Pan complex.
“West Coast guys are so laid back, they need to be taught how to approach women. New York guys are almost too forward. Now West Coast women are very aggressive—-that’s why men don’t call them. Guys are also used to having sex with women on the first date on the West Coast. East Coast women follow The Rules more—-they’re smarter than West Coast women. West Coast women are often more beautiful—-they take pride in their appearances, because that’s what’s more important out there, but they can also be jaded and nasty. They’ve been used and abused,” Patti says.
Patti herself is married to a non-millionaire man. “I’ve dated millionaires, and discovered that money is not an essential factor for me,” she says. Even though Patti did not snare a millionaire she did meet her husband through one of her staff matchmakers. “We have a scientific formula on matchmaking. My grandmother gave me a trade secret that will be handed down to generations of my family.” Her staff sign confidentiality contracts with a stiff penalty if they disclose the formula to the outside world. The organization is responsible for hundreds of marriages, engagements and people living together which Patti does not condone. “I feel If you live together it eventually kills the romance.” Well, to each their own, I suppose.
Want more? Find out why dating in NYC is so tough, and how to find true love (without a matchmaker).