Relationships
The Complete Guide: Your Sexual Fantasies
Everything you ever needed to know about your own fantasies, and how to convey them.
Open and honest communication is one of the keys to a satisfying sex life—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do. It can be embarrassing and nerve-racking to tell your partner what you really want, especially if the relationship is just a casual one. But the rewards are worth the temporary awkwardness, so I’ll help you get there.
Go ahead – tell him your sexual fantasies…
Defining Needs, Desires, and Fantasies
Craving a threesome?
Before you can express what you want, it’s important to understand the difference between these three concepts. Here’s how I see it… A sexual need is a physical or psychological requirement for your well-being. This can include the needs for security and affection as well as sexual release on a physical level. A sexual desire is something you wish or hope for but are able to live without, such as an emotional connection with your partner or having sex more often. Finally, a sexual fantasy is a mental image or scenario that turns you on but isn’t necessarily something you’d want to go through with in real life.
HOT TIP: On a piece of paper, make three columns labeled “needs,” “desires,” and “fantasies,” and fill in each one. You’ll have a clearer idea of what you want and need, which will help when it comes time to open up to your partner.
When to Tell Him Your Fantasies
People often ask me, “How long into a relationship should I wait before telling my partner about my needs/desires/fantasies?” Every situation and relationship is different, but here’s a general guideline. Your basic needs should be met from the first encounter—including one-night stands.
Want to get kinky?
If you’re having sex with someone, you absolutely deserve to feel safe and secure. And if you need some kissing or cuddling to enjoy a sexual encounter, then by all means express that need. This isn’t a business transaction; it’s the most intimate human activity, so don’t be embarrassed. If your partner can’t fulfill your basic needs, you should find someone else to have sex with.
Sexual desires can be expressed in the early stages of a casual or long-term sexual relationship. Within the first few weeks, you should be able to tell your partner that it’s hard for you to achieve orgasm in the missionary position or that having your neck kissed turns you on. As the relationship progresses, you should be able to openly express all your sexual desires to your partner, even if it means telling him that his technique doesn’t work for you or that you aren’t satisfied with how often you have sex.
You don’t just have to do what pleases him
As for your deepest, darkest fantasies, you might need to wait a little longer to let them out into the open. There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about kinky or unusual scenarios, but it’s possible that your partner will be surprised or even shocked and won’t understand or accept them right away. So it’s usually best to build a solid foundation for the relationship before pulling out the big guns.
Tracey Pierce
It’s true. It’s okay to tell your partner about your fantasies, but there are things that you shouldn’t tell them. If you know that your fantasy involves another character, make it a secret because it might hurt your partner.
Marie Hunt
I have an open mind, but sometimes, it’s hard to accept what they are wishing. IT takes time, especially if you know that your wish is hard to give. ?
Jimmy Coleman
I tried having the threesome with my best friend, and his girlfriend, I don’t have a best friend anymore, but I have a wife. Lol
Kinkiblu
??♀️?excellent
Nina Price
Haha! So your best friend’s girlfriend that time is your wife?
Thomas Ramirez
I will share this article with my wife because we are having a hard time in our sexy time, and if I can feel that we should have the connection to talk about stuff like this one.
Tonya Logan
My boyfriend asked me if it’s okay with me to have a threesome. I was thinking of that too, but he wanted to do it with another girl, but I like it with a guy? How’s that?
Sherry Wilson
It’s hard to tell your sexual fantasies because you might get rejected, but it’s worth taking the risk.
Agnes Wilkins
Yeah, I tried telling my wife and all I got is a slap in my face. Lol ?
Alberta Richardson
Your articles are getting more interesting each day. I love it! Keep posting stuff like this! ?
Angelica Leonard
Men’s sexual fantasies are harder that women’s fantasies. My boyfriend’s fantasies are much harder than what I thought, but it’s okay as long as he is happy.
Mindy Morris
I will try to make a list of my “needs” “desire” and “Fantasies”, I think it’s a great thing to do to know what’s on our mind.
Ashley Phelps
I tried to be honest, but he just keeps on rejecting me. I don’t know, I want to survive our sexual relationship, but I think he wants it that way.