Womens Issues

Getting Nagged? 5 Graceful Rebuttals

Here’s how to deal with those uncomfortable questions this holiday season.


Getting Nagged? 5 Graceful Rebuttals

Question #3: “Will you still be working when you’re pregnant?”

Translation: You better stop working now that you’re pregnant.

This question usually comes from women who were previously confronted with this issue and were also forced to make a choice. Instead of an irritated retort like “So what? You have a problem with that?”, treat the asker as a concerned individual who cares for you in your vulnerable child-bearing time.

Do not give the asker an indecisive reply, like, “Do you think I should?” or a miserable one, like, “I wanted to but John and I needed the money”. If you do, you are only giving in to the asker’s pressure who wants you to do what she has also done.

Your answer should be based on what you and your partner have come up to, like, “John and I have decided that I should not stop working. Work is not that stressful for me anyway and I prefer it to staying at home, eating and watching TV. Besides, the doctor says I don’t have a sensitive pregnancy”. This response not only answers the question, but also closes the case. It shows that you have already pondered on the subject and have come to a reasonable decision.


Question #4: “Don’t you have plans of adding more children to your family?”

Translation: You should have another child. One is just so unexciting.

Regardless if you’ve decided to raise just one child or you’re trying to conceive another baby, don’t sound bitter on your reply. Instead of responding, “No, I don’t want more kids” or “I wanted to but I find it hard conceiving”, both of which open up a potentially uncomfortable debate conversation, make a response that (again) portrays you as a levelheaded person.

Say something like, “Whether I only raise one child or more, I want to give the best. I want our family to be emotionally and financially stable so the children will be provided with enough love and comfort.” or “We’re considering it.” and change the subject.

Getting Nagged? 5 Graceful Rebuttals

Question #5: “When will you buy your own house?”

Translation: You should buy your own house already — near us.

This question often comes from your parents or in-laws. This is normally coming from a good place — they want you to put down more permanent roots in the same area (or on the same street, they hope!) But you may not be ready to discuss how much money you and your partner saves and where you wish to live.

If the question comes from a nosy friend, just say “We’re still assessing what we want to do”. If it comes from a family member, try to turn the question around so you know where the asker is coming from. Respond something like, “It sounds like you are excited about us getting our own house so we can stay in this area. Actually we’re working on it and we’re also excited to build our own nest.” or “We prefer the freedom that renting affords us — for now — but we’ll keep you in the loop.”

This way, you’re reflecting back what you think you hear the person is saying. You are also telling the asker that you’ve already made your preference and are really working on its realization. Best of all, it ends the discussion.

Remember, it’s you and your partner’s life and choices. Nobody else’s. Make sure to do what feels right to YOU.

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Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging (InsiderDiva.com) and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 170 Comments

  1. Candice Barnes

    These are the perfect answers for people who like to poke around people’s lives.

  2. Alice Grant

    I’m single and all I hear is marriage. Come on fam, I can’t even get a decent boyfriend and you want me to get married already? Let’s be realistic, okay?

  3. Johanna Tyler

    I’m a big believer of YOU DO YOU. Opinions are meant to be shared, but it’s up to you which one’s you’ll follow. Unless that person truly insists that you do what they’re telling you, that’s completely out of hand and very annoying, but yes, you do you! You don’t always have to listen to people. Just let them say their piece and say yours if you want to. We’re all entitled to share our thoughts just like what they’re also doing. I don’t think it’s rude to answer this way.

  4. Nora Santos

    I could never handle these situations properly until I’ve read this. I guess nothing better closes an argument by saying something smart.?

  5. Nicolas Lloyd

    My dad nags a lot. It’s getting worse as he gets older. And there’s nothing I can do about it, he’s my dad.

  6. Rochelle Becker

    I get annoyed when people I’m not close to are asking me stuff like this. They know nothing about who I am or how certain decisions in my life lead to this, so they shouldn’t bother asking.?

  7. Arlene Pearson

    After reading this, I feel like I could win any argument with people who do this in social gatherings. Look, don’t mind my life, mind yours!

  8. Louise Briggs

    Perfect timing because parties are just around the corner and as much as my anti-social personality doesn’t like stuff like this, I can’t help it. It’s like part of our adult lives to socialize and to find the right answers to everyone’s questions — down to the most awkward and privacy shattering queries. I feel like adulting is basically trying to figure out how to not piss people off when you’re trying to piss them off all at the same time. It’s an irony and can be very confusing, but life is like that.

  9. Rosalind Upchurch

    I’m so tired of people asking stuff like this during gatherings, especially family gatherings. It’s a very toxic topic and it makes people feel awkward when they don’t get the answers that they want. Also, it turns into a huge debate that goes on for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours….! It’s crazy how people can’t just keep their opinions to themselves, especially when it’s about redirecting someone in a direction that the other party doesn’t even want.

  10. Suzanne Rodgers

    I guess I’m starting to get fed up with people like them who don’t understand boundaries.?

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