Who Is Your Ideal Partner?

Why would a woman go for the average Joe when she could go home with the next big thing?


In high school I had this delusional criteria of the perfect boyfriend- a rich kid who could manage to take me to dinners at the fanciest restaurants; a jock who’d make me the envy of all the other girls; and a bad boy with a heart of gold and a gentleman’s touch who’d sweep me off my feet and melt my heart. I was young and incredibly shallow.

Who Is Your Ideal Partner?

A few epiphany-inducing lectures in philosophy, sociology and literature in college changed my perspective of what boyfriend material is. Back then, I wanted my boyfriend to be an intellectual, and of course, he had to have wit, charm, and looks…

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who deviated from the norm of strictly adhering to standards. I’ve heard of stories about women foregoing the ‘better catch’ simply because they’ve found the man they want to spend the rest of their lives with. The ‘better catch’ may have been financially stable or better looking. He may have possessed a stellar career and reputation. So why would you settle for anything ‘less’?

Who Is Your Ideal Partner?

Why would a woman go for the average Joe when she could go home with the next big thing?

Simple, really.

Many people begin their quest for their lifetime partner in a naive fashion similar to my teenage experience. Others unconsciously do the same. But don’t get me wrong, though. A standard is there to weed out the bad and reveal the good. In fact, it’s the starting point. When you meet someone that doesn’t conform to your set of standards, you hesitate at first, thinking that he’s not for you.

If he’s successful in getting your attention, you decide on two things: to accept or to reject. Then there’s the third option people like me end up choosing, and that’s to give the relationship a try; or at least a second chance.

As you gradually mature and grow into the relationship, you will find that your set of standards has been evolving and will continuously evolve until the time. It ultimately becomes a mish-mash of characteristics, philosophies, dreams, and values that inevitably hold a higher place over material possessions and good looks.

Who Is Your Ideal Partner?

At some point you may begin to understand that each individual is complex and inherently different from another and that not one person will fit all your ideals.

This is the time when you eventually come to terms with imperfection and the realization that everyone has flaws you have learned to accept. The man that has captured your heart has kept you in his arms simply because he’s himself – no ostentatious dates or extravagant presents. Just him, his tool box, and a box of chocolates and Kleenex on a bad day. There are many like him, it’s just that ladies are too busy giving security passes to “safe” men.

What happened to me is not unique. I met a man who didn’t meet my standards; but what’s special about it is that my relationship with him is one that continues to teach me to be independent without being alone. In the duration of our ongoing relationship, I have learned to be patient and to listen. I learned to appreciate the arts and how to fix, maintain, and repair things around the house. I learned to be humble and to be considerate of others. I learned to admit my mistakes and make up for them. All of these I would not have picked up from someone who had everything I wanted.

Who is my breaker of standards? He doesn’t drive a fancy car. He doesn’t play the piano or the sax. He doesn’t have a trust fund nor the face and body of an Abercrombie and Fitch model. He doesn’t have a butler because he can manage his own schedule and cook his own food. He drives a beat-up Mitsubishi Lancer. He plays the drums. He’s a middle-income earner battling his way to new opportunities. Most importantly, he’s the one who made me realize that standards are merely a set of basic criteria that hinders you from seeing and experiencing something more meaningful.

Avatar of Sarah Woodstock

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging ( and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 227 Comments

  1. Avatar of Erin Miller

    Actually, there is no ideal or perfect partner! But also it’s true that everyone has his or her own ideal definition for their partner. The ideal partner is different for a different person. so it’s a subjective point of view! However, live a lovable life with your partner !!

  2. Avatar of Sonja Fallow

    There’s no ideal guy or girl. We’re all human, imperfection at its best. We take what we get and find a work around what’s bothering us.. that’s commitment.

  3. Avatar of Tanja Kingston

    This is my ideal guy. A guy who acts cool outside but low-key hilarious and crazy inside, merely to people who are close to him, especially me. A chill, happy-go-lucky dude. At the same time, profound. Not too delinquent, rather nice. Virtuous. Knows how to dress. Smart. Sporty or at least does sports. Silly at times. Able to play music instruments, draw marvelously, or write magnificently would be a plus point. Artsy ones are always intriguing! A guy who accepts me for who I am, in spite of the fact that I have numerous amount of imperfections. A guy who can make me feel happy. A guy who can make me feel warm and safe. A guy who can make me feel like I’m someone worthwhile. He must be able to bring himself well to society, chivalrous, hard-working, tenacious, and gentle.I know it’s too much to ask, though…

  4. Avatar of Lucretia


    I don’t want too much Just a decent guy. At the end of a hard day, he’ll say “let’s go out to eat” or “let me cook” and then give me a back rub.

  5. Avatar of Felicia Stewart

    Felicia Stewart

    I want someone I can be myself around and vise versa. A guy that loves me for me. I would like a man that loves music and animals. (if he plays and/or sings that’s an extra bonus)

  6. Avatar of Olivia PHILLIPS

    Olivia PHILLIPS

    Someone with a kind and open heart. He treats others with respect and is genuine. Lighthearted and enthusiastic but not superficial.

  7. Avatar of Magdolna Beiler

    he’s gotta love me. really love me. I don’t want to be an accessory in his life or just someone that builds his ego. or something. I want to know I am a priority in his life. He’s gotta be honest. He’s gotta love truth and love learning. Someone who is strong and has a backbone, but still caring, gentle, and sweet at the same time. Someone with an awesome sense of humour, and who loves art and music. and also… if he’s a hugger he gets major points 😀

  8. Avatar of Dana Rosatti

    Dana Rosatti

    My ideal man is a gentleman, intelligent, has empathy, confident, enjoys affection, enjoys me in every way, takes care of his body and is active, patient, loving.

  9. Avatar of Danielle Wison

    I don’t really have a type, let alone an ideal man. My circle of friends is a patchwork of completely different individuals. Likewise, the men I fancy or have fancied aren’t exactly all the same types. I just think a person needs to have a well-balanced personality with complimentary character traits and acceptable flaws. Within that frame there is a lot of room for loads of different personality types.

  10. Avatar of Helen Vincent

    Helen Vincent

    Let’s see. I guess my list looks like: great smile (and easy), sense of personal style, intelligent and easy to talk to, ambitious, compatible sense of humor to mine, and acts like a gentleman (chivalrous). And obviously, he thinks I am awesome!

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