10 Tips to Help You Find Your Soulmate
Actionable ways to help you meet your soulmate — much, much faster.
Sit down and make three lists.
My hubby taught me this trick. About six months before he met me he made a list of 10 must-have (non-physical) attributes, and that’s (partially) how he knew he’d found a good match in me. More importantly, it’s how he knew to cut the women who came before me loose.
Here are the three lists you need to make:
- First, must haves – go for the deep stuff. Can you trust him? Do you admire him? Do you respect him? Is he expressive, loving, in touch with his heart and spirituality?
- Second, make a separate list of nice to haves with this future partner. How do you act around him? What does he bring out in you? How do you feel around him?
- And finally, make a deal-breaker list. For example, if you want children and he doesn’t, then he isn’t the man for you. Don’t get involved. The sooner you find out, the better.
Do NOT get naked with a guy until you get to know him. I had a minimum 10-date rule, but longer for guys who I still felt I didn’t really understand. Make sure your “must-haves” are present BEFORE you have sex, as getting physical will release a ton of oxytocin – the bonding hormone – and get you addicted to nearly anyone. Whether you believe you’re the one person who’s immune to the emotional power of sex or not, the cold-hard-science is that being sexual with someone changes your brain chemistry and artificially bonds you to a person. It could keep you from seeing them clearly, and it’s not worth it if it means you could waste time on someone who’s not right for you while your soulmate gets married to someone else.