10 Tips to Help You Find Your Soulmate

Actionable ways to help you meet your soulmate — much, much faster.


No More “Trying”.

Finally, don’t waste time with people who are not marriage material or do not treat you well. I know it gets lonely sometimes, however, spending time with a person who you are too embarrassed to introduce to friends, family and colleagues is a waste of time. Similarly, if he’s not right for you, stop trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and just dump him already! Your romantic partner has a huge impact on where you’re going and where you will end up etc . If things aren’t going the way they should, make moves to free yourself up and be available for a relationship with someone who wants what you want.

10 Tips to Help You Find Your Soulmate

Just because he’s into the rodeo, doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be too

Do not be afraid to be decisive and to make tough calls quickly when circumstances require it. Once you have all the information you need to make an informed decision, then don’t hesitate, just make it. Also, once you make a decision then stick with it unless there is a particularly compelling reason for you to change it.

Why not give these tips a try? What do you have to lose? At the very least, it will help you weed out the bad apples and move you closer to a healthy, loving and happy committed relationship.

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Avatar of Hilary Rowland

A writer, artist, and designer since she was young enough to put pencil to paper, Hilary taught herself code and created Urbanette when she was a teenager. Currently, she lives in Monte Carlo, but spent the past decade living in NYC, still considers herself a New Yorker, and visits regularly. She's always traveling, looking for hot new topics, destinations, and life hacks to bring to Urbanette readers.

Reader Discussion: 123 Comments

  1. Avatar of Marina


    Thank you for offering the advice to not sleep with someone for at least 10 dates. I used to be a “sexually liberated woman” and would sleep with a man when I felt like it. It got me in trouble because I would become emotionally attached to men that were wrong for me. I slept with my soon to be ex-husband almost right away because I felt such a powerful attraction. The sex was absolutely mindblowing and the best I had ever had. I was sucked in and fell in love immediately. He was selfish from the very beginning, but I kept overlooking his self-centeredness because I wanted it to work, and I wanted more sex. 5 years later, I am in the midst of an ugly divorce after complete betrayal and abandonment by the man that was my whole world, that I made countless sacrifices for and that I loved as deeply as a woman can love a man. I always knew that I loved him more than he loved, I knew he was selfish, and I allowed him to disrespect me from very early on in the relationship because I was hooked with the sex. He broke my heart into a million little pieces and I am struggling to put my life back together. I haven’t turned cynical and I still believe in love. I’ve now made a decision that any man I date, I will get to know for a few months before making love with him. Yes, I love sex, but I have had enough of it in my life that I am willing to sacrifice it for some time to find my soulmate and avoid more failed relationships with the wrong men. I don’t know how anyone could possibly survive heartbreak this bad more than once. I don’t know if I’ll adopt your 10 date rule, but I would need to feel confident that I know someone before having sex.

  2. Avatar of George Sumanta

    George Sumanta

    You calmed my stormy heart. Thank you so much for this motivating article! I suddenly felt I owe myself a big HUG

  3. Avatar of Jeweli Prater

    Jeweli Prater

    ? So now, how do we define soulmate?! Does it necessarily mean romantic partner?! ?

  4. Avatar of Luthi Sanders

    Luthi Sanders

    May I suggest a follow-up article, “signs that I’ve found my soulmate…”?!

  5. Avatar of Jessie Fernande

    Jessie Fernande

    I agree with making a list but I’d make a list of characteristics I love about myself, things that generate good feelings. I might sound narcissistic, but I just believe in self love…

  6. Avatar of Reid Hooks

    Reid Hooks

    Soulmate, I’ve seen her and she knows how I feel about her, just waiting for her to make up her mind, on what to do next.

  7. Avatar of Angela

    “If you truly are looking for love and want to find that person that you can spend the rest of your life with, remember that it is YOU who creates compatibility.”

  8. Avatar of Honey Smith

    Honey Smith

    Oh well, I used to believe in soulmates and thought I had met mine. To me, he was perfect, I thought he was everything I ever wanted, and we were inseparable from the day we met. Unfortunately, he was a clinically-diagnosed psychopath…

  9. Avatar of Juli Woods

    Juli Woods

    I think you should change the title. To me, the article suggests ways on finding a “romantic partner.” A soulmate doesn’t necessarily mean a romantic partner, right?! It may be a close friend…

  10. Avatar of Anila William

    Anila William

    Relationship is a process, it is important to learn how to overcome obstacles for it to work.

    • Avatar of Lusi Martin

      Lusi Martin

      Yeah, both should communicate and understand!

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