How I Improved My Self-Esteem

Learn to Say No

I used to feel obligated to go out of my way to help friends and to say Yes to everything they asked of me. This lead to me consistently being taken advantage of and feeling hurt, which lowered my self-esteem. Because I was so overly generous, even friends who normally wouldn’t ‘use’ me, ended up making me feel used, and it damaged our friendship. I learned the hard way that when a friendship is out of balance, it often spoils.

So the lesson is this: Don’t be a people pleaser. Recognize that you have enough value as a friend without giving them any extra benefits. And if you do nice things for a friend and it’s not reciprocated, then stop doing those things and see how your friend reacts. Givers, like me, can’t be friends with Takers or it’ll eventually suck you dry and drain your self-esteem. You need to put yourself first and be comfortable saying no.

Don’t be a people pleaser.

Dwelling On Problems Is Not Healthy

My husband helps me see situations in a better light, and when I’m going through a tough time he’s quick to point out that things aren’t nearly as bad as they appear to be. He helps me to focus on the positive and stop dwelling on the negative. If you dwell on the things that have gone wrong in your life, you’ll be stuck under a gray cloud.

When a tabloid journalist I’d never met wrote a bizarre article speculating about my personality, completely fictionalized, my mentor, Richard Branson, gave me good advice. He told me to forget about it, move on, and not to respond. If you move past the negative in your life and try to find the silver lining in every situation, then you’ll soon realize that other people can’t damage your self esteem.