Men Answer Your Questions About Love

Is your man in love? Will he fall for you? Men answer: How to tell.


Michael, 37, a restaurant owner in North Carolina, says he’s cautious about expressing himself early on — not because he’s complacent or wants to play games or wants to make the woman squirm like a mouse in a cat’s mouth. He holds back because he’s waiting to get the signal that it’s okay to press the accelerator. “I love to hear that I’m her dream come true, or some version of that, if that’s the case,” he says. “I need a little praise and attention, just as much as she needs it from me. That’s the sign I need. Then, I know I can give her what she needs.”

What men really want when it comes to love is your assurance — your permission, really — that it’s okay to let the butterflies out of the cage.

Chris, 29, a recently married public defender, agrees. “Men need to be told that they’re wanted,” he says. “Women forget that if they like a nice guy, that the nice guy might be too nervous to tell them what he feels.” And then he added this interesting insight: “Women need to be more open to being hurt the way guys are every day.” Hold on a second. Guys are hurt more often than women?

Men Answer Your Questions About Love

Think about it: In the romance game, it’s usually the man who makes the first move (usually after you’ve dropped him countless hints waiting for him to finally pick up on them). But in doing so, men open themselves up to more rejection than a telemarketing trainee. And believe me, even George Clooney has a psychic master list of turn-downs that he still winces over from time to time.

So once a man has crossed that first barrier — okay, you like him, it’s safe — he’s reluctant to cross the next. Like monkeys in a lab, we’ve been shocked plenty of times before, and if we’re in a safe place with you, we’re happy simply to stay there. So it’s a delicate balance — a woman needs to signal that it’s okay for him to take the next step, without making him feel as if he’s being pushed toward it. Let him know that you feel there’s something really special between you. Let him know it’s okay if he lets himself feel that, too. But proceed cautiously — there’s danger ahead, as you’ll see.

We asked the most insightful men we know to answer our readers questions about, well, men. Here’s what they said:

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Avatar of Sarah Woodstock

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging ( and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 91 Comments

  1. Avatar of ariel myers

    ariel myers

    92% wow. just wow! guess all my exes are the 8% that sucks.

  2. Avatar of Janet Day

    Sorry but I think the whole “92% of men chose love” is BS.

    • Avatar of Mary Jamieson

      Mary Jamieson

      For a relationship to work, there needs to be give and take. Men can’t do all the work. LOL

  3. Avatar of Edwina Thornhill

    Edwina Thornhill

    They say that men are simple-minded and women are the complicated ones, but I find it hard to understand most guys.

  4. Avatar of Jennifer Kirkpatrick

    Jennifer Kirkpatrick

    It’s society’s fault that women aren’t as assertive as most men. We got used to just waiting for men to ask us out. I feel sorry for the guys who aren’t as brave as the others.

    • Avatar of Agnes Hoots

      Agnes Hoots

      I feel this on a spiritual level. I’m only 25 but my relatives are more concerned with my non-existent relationship than I am.

  5. Avatar of Christine Wiggin

    Christine Wiggin

    I don’t like it when people ask me if they can be friends with me because my tendency is to always say no. I feel the same about relationships. I’d rather just let it happen. But I also get that some things need to be asked first.

  6. Avatar of Mona Murrell

    Mona Murrell

    Women give mix signals. They’re very hard to read. You’ll just get a migraine trying to understand them.

    • Avatar of Hillary Williams

      Hillary Williams

      I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe try talking to her about it? Maybe she’s just waiting for you to ask but you’ll never know if you won’t ask. Asking is the best way to get an answer. I hope this helps. šŸ™‚

  7. Avatar of Diane Roth

    Diane Roth

    I’m shocked to know that 92% of men chose falling in love.

  8. Avatar of Isabela Quagliato

    I believe men need more understanding when it comes to matters of the heart. They do not speak what they feel which usually cause miscommunication.

    • Avatar of Joan Samonte

      Joan Samonte

      They love to keep everything simple. They tend to feel that crying is for girls. That is why the suicide rate is higher among men. That is why I always try to avoid confrontational talks with my boyfriend.

  9. Avatar of Amanda Wilson

    Thanks for writing, Sarah! Men and women need to meet halfway if they want to succeed in love!

  10. Avatar of Meiga Jenk

    Men are completely different from us, women. And it’s essential that if you love your man, you need to understand him and make sure he knows you do.

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